When Pluto and Venus are in contact in the natal chart, you feel compelled, magnetized to enter relationships. You feel hypnotized by your attractions, and will do everything in your power to get the person you want.
With Pluto – Venus in the natal chart you struggle feeling whole on your own, you don’t necessarily know really well how to relate to yourself, how to feel independent and self-reliant. Therefore when you meet someone who possesses a quality you don’t, you feel mesmerized, because they help you feel more complete.
Pluto is obsessive and controlling, because of the underlying emotional insecurity. When Venus and Pluto are in aspect (especially with the conjunction, square, quincunx and opposition) you can become manipulative; whether it’s subtle or open, in order to get the person you desire. The classic Pluto move is to withhold love and affection as a bargaining/control move.
Because of the difficulty to love yourself fully on your own and because of the reasons why you feel attracted by people (they possess something you don’t), the energy of the relationship is often meant to be dysfunctional. A lot of projections occur (whether it’s on your part or your partner’s part), a lot of power battles are at play and there is a fight for control, the relationship can end when you finally feel you have what you were looking for in the person, and because of the intensity of the feelings, often the relationship doesn’t end really well. Of course it feels excruciating for the partner who, wasn’t looking to fulfill a personal need, doesn’t understand how their partner can walk away just like that.
This process is completely subconscious and is meant to repeat itself, until you develop your own self-love, your own feeling of wholeness, and awaken to your patterns.
Often Pluto-Venus people describe their relationships as “fated” or “karmic”; and they may very well be. But a karmic relationship doesn’t mean that it’s a fulfilling one, only that you share an unconscious history together (which can very well be abusive) and that you came back together because of your unfinished business.
But as soon as you feel that people in your life are Karmic, it also means that you have a lot of subconscious memories that may rule your life: The suspicion, the fear, the anxiety around relationships and commitments, the manipulative behaviors because of the underlying anxiety, may very well come from a past you don’t remember.
Pluto rules the taboos, and with Pluto-Venus in contact you feel drawn to shock the social conventions with your relationship style (very common too during a Pluto-Venus transit). Maybe you collect sexual partners, or you want an open relationship, or you claim being fine with your partner flirting or having sexual relationships with others. Whatever form this takes, you can feel really excited about challenging and shocking the accepted norm.
Once you learn how to love and nurture yourself (something the trine and sextile learn how to do more easily and naturally) all of the above can be avoided and you can benefit from the plus sides of Pluto – Venus contact. Note that, having the Pluto square Venus or Pluto opposite Venus doesn’t mean you’re doomed to this pattern, it means that it will require more crises and more difficulty for you to integrate the lessons. It’s the same issue but you’re more resistant to change.
Pluto-Venus is extremely sensual, sexual, charming, magnetic. Often the person is extremely popular romantically because others can feel their depth, capacity to understand them, their capacity to push them towards growth, and their sexual energy.