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Moon in aspects to Saturn: Loneliness

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Moon is the most tender part of our chart, all she wants is a safe space to express herself, in all of her softness and vulnerability. Saturn on the other hand, represents expectations, standards, hard work, inhibitions, limitations, and inadequacy.

Odd mix, Moon and Saturn are like oil and water. If you have them in fluid aspects (sextile, trine) there are some strong upsides to this aspect, but it's still an odd association. If you have them in difficult aspects (conjunction, square, opposition), there are some definitive drawbacks.

Difficult aspects: Moon conjunct Saturn, Moon square Saturn, Moon opposite Saturn, Moon inconjunct Saturn.

When Moon and Saturn are in difficult aspects, the following tend to happen:

  • Emotional inhibition

  • Emotional shutdown

  • Denial, suppression, rejection, judgement of one's emotions & emotional needs

  • Discomfort with the feminine

  • Discomfort with or inability for vulnerability

  • Emotions seen as weakness

  • Feeling of loneliness no matter if surrounded

Everything I just listed is not very fun, and it's common with these aspects - but it's not an exhaustive list so don't give up just yet.

Very often, what we see when these two come in difficult contact, is someone who was raised in a household where there was an atmosphere of emotional deprivation.

Whether this is an objective truth or not isn't really relevant, what matters most is to understand that this is how reality was perceived. Often, we find people who grew up feeling unloved, rejected, alone and deprived.

Usually, one or both parents had a tendency to have high expectations and a tendency to give "tough love". Typically, what we find is the mechanism of emotional invalidation or dismissal being taught to the child. For example, if the child was to experience an emotionally difficult situation, such as being bullied or bothered by a sibling or a friend, the parental response would be of this sort: "don't let this bother you", "big girls don't cry", "you give them power if you care."

The idea is that the parents had a tendency to "handle" feelings, and so the child learns that when emotions become strong and powerful, we dismiss them and shove them down.

Typically, we find people who experience prolonged depressive states, a logical response to the wallop of feelings being held down in the stomach. We also find people who find it particularly difficult to be emotionally vulnerable, sometimes it's a conscious process of finding emotions "weak", at other times, it's a subconscious process: how can you name and express your emotions when you have the subconscious habit of suppressing and denying them?

Typically, someone with difficult contact between Saturn and Moon tends to build a wall around them which tends to keep loving connections away.

Love is scary as it comes with PLENTY emotions + possibilities of rejection and disappointment, something which was experienced already too much in childhood, often. As there is a disconnection from the heart, it can also lead to choosing people who are hurtful, and reinforce the belief that love=pain or love=feeling alone. There is usually a certain avoidance of relationships, despite a core need to bond and form loving relationships.

Saturn rules rejection and inadequacy, and there is a particularly strong tendency to adopt the attitude of - reject before you are rejected. There can be a strong tendency to fall in patterns of self-sabotage and self-defeating attitudes.

Now, it's of course quite saddening and often the representation of a childhood which created some emotional wounding. But as Saturn also represents wisdom and maturation, there is always a strong potential for healing and maturation that is embedded in this aspect. The more you learn about your birth chart and all the potential and difficulties it carries, the more you can bring awareness and healing. This is one of the main reasons why my students are completely mindblown when they learn Astrology with me - it truly can shift your life by helping you understand yourself and heal.

Often, the Saturn return can be a particularly interesting moment for someone to take stocks and heal this disconnection. As well, transits that we could call traumatic, such as a difficult aspect of Pluto to your Moon, can come and free you up from the initial trauma, granted, by bringing uncontrollable situations and emotions.

With time, willingness to self-reflect, a ton of personal work and desire to connect and reconnect, we find people who develop tremendous emotional wisdom and emotional maturity that is difficult to match. Saturn and Moon, even in difficult contact, tend to stick through thick and thin as there is a desire to retain an emotional connection at all costs, so we also find people who aren't afraid of difficulties and obstacles in relationships.

Saturn & Moon are also indicators of someone who is not afraid of providing emotionally and caretaking. If you're looking for someone who will be there for you in your old age, you want to find a Saturn-Moon partner, granted if the aspect is difficult, you'll need to assess how self-aware they are and how willing they have been throughout their life to question their nurturing model growing up.

Saturn fluid aspects to Moon: Trine & sextile

Saturn is not a friendly presence to Moon, even if the aspect is fluid, however you will find much less trauma and much less difficulties when the aspect is fluid.

The main energy I find from the fluid aspects is a strong capacity to shut emotions out, but not in a way that is necessarily damaging to connecting heart to heart, more so as a handy coping tool when emotions are overwhelming, like an alarm system, allowing the person to disconnect in case of emergency.

If the Moon is otherwise afflicted, we do find sometimes cases of people who are permanently or durably disconnected from themselves, and we'd find similar energies as the ones described in the difficult contacts.

This aspect though tends to give people who are reliable and consistent emotionally, loyal and committed. There is usually a strong capacity to act as an anchor, for a partner who is perhaps more volatile or dysregulated emotionally. Do note, this is also a possibility we find in the difficult contacts of Saturn and Moon, but a capacity that is only acquired after hard work. Recommended reads: - The anatomy of loneliness

- Healing the shame that binds you

- Shame: Free yourself, find joy, build self-esteem

- Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live

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