Profoundly abusive and damaging, someone with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder almost always go unnoticed, undiagnosed, and untreated. As a result, their victims often go unnoticed, undiagnosed, and untreated. If you are or have been the victim of a NPD, you need to do a lot of healing in order to repair all the damages done.
Narcissism is a spectrum, and NPD is an extreme form of it.
NPD can be found at work, in your family, in your relationships. Maybe your boss is a NPD and you feel extremely isolated and fragile in your functions, or you were raised by a NPD and you may never had realized your parent wasn't quite normal (or you realized too late), or perhaps your partner was/is a NPD and you feel like you can't get out.
What are the symptoms of a NPD?
Everyone is a narcissist to some degree, and it is absolutely healthy and normal to love yourself; but if you are the victim of a NPD, you'll recognize a lot of the symptoms below:
Inflated sense of self: The person believes they should be treated with special care everywhere they go. Arrogance and condescendence are witnessed every day. They may create scenes and display burst out of rage if they do not get treated with special care. Narcissistic rage is explosive and unpredictable.
Delusions of grandeur: Believe they will achieve grandiose things without the proper means or will.
Need praise and admiration: Constantly need to be reassured of their value, will turn into states of rage if not praised.
Entitlement: They should get everything they want right away and as they want, just because they asked for it. If the NPD is in your family, they will use their title (mother, father) to get what they want out of you, without treating you with kindness or care. If it's a partner, they will always consider that they deserve everything they ask without having to treat you in any way. You will find them in out of control state of rage is someone does not treat them as they want (people in the service industry in particular, but also coworker, employees, family, friends, strangers)
Lack of empathy: Every single person around them is considered a tool or product, and they will use, seduce, hurt, love, with the only goal to obtain something out of you. They do not consider or understand your feelings, you are only existing to serve them in some way.
Bullying: They will maintain their sense of inflated sense by putting you down, patronizing you, bullying, harassing, dismissing your feelings and reality.
Compulsive lying: In fact, you'll notice that they bend reality to fit their desires/needs, which create extreme confusion. As the lies are, at first, subtle, you might not notice. Threy also tend to compartmentalize their life with each audience having a different version of reality. Divide and conquer.
The markers of NPD in the birth chart
There is not one aspect or one sign, planet, that can be associated with such mental disorder. However, you're looking at some clues added with each other. Do not forget that, two person can have the exact same chart, and have different level of consciousness, different evolutionary journey. Do not use these clues to condemn people you do not know, only use it to confirm an experience with someone you know and who you believe suffer this disorder, and to make sense of it, to understand that it isn't about you but about them.
Inflated sense of ego: The ego is ruled by Sun and Mars, and therefore you will find the Sun and Mars either in contact with Jupiter (inflation), and/or you will find Sun and Mars challenged by outer planets. Why is that? Someone with an inflated ego always compensate a very weak sense of self-esteem. These people actually struggle with their ego, and therefore you can find Sun/Mars in difficult aspect to Pluto, Neptune, Saturn. I do not include Uranus in this because someone with a difficult aspect to Uranus would try to free themselves and individuate themselves, whereas a NPD does not have a sense of self, they form an empty shell and feed themselves of others.
Seductive capacities: They seduce others into their web in order for them to feed themselves of them. Therefore you're looking often at some Libra planets, or 7th House planets, or a Neptunian energy. The seduction can also be seen through heavy aspects of Neptune, which pushes people to fall for the dream.
Lack of sense of self: As we said, the inflated ego actually comes for a lack of boundaries around their self, pushing them to morph and feed themselves of others. You need to have some strong challenging Neptune aspects to personal planets. This allows them to seduce, lie, trap others in their lies and projections; but it also represents their own trauma that lead them to develop this disorder, their own incapacity to define their self, their emptiness.
Lack of empathy: Look for clues of lack of empathy, usually, we look at the Moon.
Capacity for delusion: You'd want to find a Mercury that is prone to delusion and lies, like an afflicted Mercury, perhaps in aspect to Neptune.
Domination: You'd want to find clues of someone who's here to dominate and win no matter what. Callousness. Perhaps Pluto and Mars.
Markers for NPD victims in the natal chart
Lack of boundaries: In order to be trapped by a NPD, we need to find a lack of boundaries in the person, and this will be most likely caused by Neptune contacts. If the NPD is in your family, then we will find Neptune in contact to your Sun (father), Moon (mother), Mercury (siblings), possibly in contact to your 4th or 10th House cusp. This shows that you were raised in an environment that did not allow you to build your proper boundaries, and therefore you were exposed from the start to the abuse. I don't work much with Asteroids as I feel we have enough information with the planets, but it is interesting to note that the Asteroid Nessus will often be involved too to one of these sensitive points in the birth chart of the victim.
If the NPD is someone you met later on in life, such as in a relationship, Neptune might affect your Venus, your Moon, your Mars. You should also be able to find a transit corresponding, with Neptune challenging your planets, but the transits only activate a natal potentiality and therefore you need the original lack of boundary.
Nessus: The victim, if it's a prolonged abuse like in childhood or though a marriage partner, would most likely have Nessus in hard aspect to Mercury, Sun, Venus or Moon.
Incapacity to let go: The victim of a NPD holds on too tight to the dream, the projected image that we see through Neptune. Often, Pluto comes in the picture too and shows someone who may perceive the treat represented by the NPD, but does not want to surrender to reality. You will find Pluto challenging personal planets, Sun, Moon, Mars, Moon, Mercury. This is most likely true for the victims who met their NPD later on in life in a friend or partner, this signature does not have to exist if the NPD is a parent or someone in the family.
Empathy: Often the victim is empathetic and stick around despite all the pain associated with a life with a NPD. Empathy will be found with Neptune of course, but also with an overwhelming presence of water planets (Neptune, Moon, Pluto), water houses (4th, 8th, 12th), and water signs (Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces).Neptune in the 1st house or in aspect to the Ascendant is common.
If you are the victim of a NPD, in an overwhelming majority of cases, it is impossible to make them realize or admit anything through communication. They can't help themselves and their trauma is often burried extremely deep. The best way to save yourself is by cutting all communication and running away without turning back. If you do not have the possibility to do that, then you are going to need to establish strict and firm boundaries in order to protect yourself from them. The hardest part of having a NPD in your life is that you will not get closure, you will not get any admission of guilt, and if you do, it means you have been sucked back into it because a NPD does not admit anything without an ulterior motive. A NPD acts, thinks, feels only for their own profit. For more resources on the NPD disorder and how to protect and heal yourself, I recommend reading this, this and this.
A known NPD:
Analysis: Jupiter conjunct Sun and Pluto opposite Sun show the inflated sense of self as well as the desire to dominate. Pluto opposite Jupiter suggests extreme desire for power and being special (Leo/Aqua). This in itself would be fine and perhaps even the sign of someone with a courageous, deep and philosophical disposition, but what gets trickier is the grand trine Moon in Capricorn (afflicted) trine Nessus (abuse) trine Saturn in the 3rd House - A maternal and emotional abuse which remained unspoken.
The immaturity and rage seen through Moon square Mars is completely repressed and projected as we see an uncomfortable Mars in Libra, conjunct Neptune. Mars is ill dignified in Libra and through this Neptune conjunction, there is a tendency to project blame, most likely on female figures (square Moon). Do note, Dejanira isn't far from Mars so there could have been further abuse in infancy.
Mercury's only aspect is a quincunx to Uranus, a capacity and tendency to compartmentalize.
Moon stands very little chance, afflicted in Capricorn and in the 6th house, the only aspects are a square to Mars and Neptune. Neptune with Mars also loses its capacity to emphasize, joined by the god of war.
I don't have enough data to confirm, but it's interesting to note the 5th house is intercepted.
A lack of water, with Uranus singleton in water, forming a quincunx to Mercury.