Venus in the 8th: You have no idea how I feel

Updated: Apr 18




Venus represents our relating style, what we like, what pleases us, what we find attractive and how we show our affection. Venus represents our attractions and therefore is one of the first planets to look at when you're asking questions regarding love

The 8th House is very misunderstood, as it represents "death", but far from talking about literal death, the 8th House represents destruction & rebirth, transformations.

Anxiety is part of the 8th House, but death needs to be understood differently than just literally. Look back at who you were, let's say, 2 years ago. Do you feel like you're the same person? Chances are you "died" many times since then, and especially if you have several planets in the 8th House.


It's also sometimes called the house of "transformations" and "regeneration", and it makes more sense if you associate it with its natural ruler, Pluto. The 8th House talks about under going several crises, often psychological but also sometimes external, and letting something inside us die or letting something external die (a relationship, a job, a friendship, losing something material) in order to make space for something new and more aligned with our true needs.


So what happens when Venus is in the 8th House?

The person will not settle for a mediocre, tamed, half-hearted relationship. They love with passion, they dislike with passion, and they can provoke this kind of reactions in people too. Someone with Venus here doesn't necessarily care for being popular with most, however they do want a relationship that is committed, loyal, and merging, with no exception or loophole.


They tend to be overly dramatic, anxious, and intense in a relationship. They tend to provoke crises in their relationships because the process of dying and transforming is deeply ingrained in them. They tend to take relationships to a point of non-return just to see if it survives or breaks, just to see how far the partner is willing to go, how much they love them, how committed they are. This process isn't necessarily conscious, but as a Scorpionic energy, they need to test, they need to see if the person, the relationship, is worth opening up, sharing, committing, if it's worth suffering for it.




A bit like a Venus in Scorpio there is a craving for a deep love, a soul bond that not everyone is able to give. They crave intimacy and there is always some anxiety around love affairs: Do they love me enough, can I trust them with my love, and are they worthy of it? The sign in which Venus is placed will give more indication about this anxiety. A Venus in Virgo in 8th would be highly anxious and analytic and would turn their love life into an endless list of questions. A Venus in Pisces in 8th would be way more fluid, spiritual and artistic. A Venus in Aries would still be quick to love and fall out of love, but the depth of their attachment would be greatly enhanced.


The 8th House is a deeply private house. Someone with Venus here can keep their hobbies, activities and relationships rather private, preferring to pick and choose who is "worth" knowing. The term "worthy" will be heard quite often with someone with planets in the 8th House, simply because this is the polarity 2nd House / 8th House which represents our values and worth; whether it's material our immaterial. The 2nd House tends to focus on the material, when the 8th House tends to focus on the immaterial, the moral and personal worth. Someone with planets in the 8th House and especially with Venus will want to know if someone is worth keeping around, worth knowing them, worth opening up to them.

As the 8th House is also about our anxieties and fears, often comes with it a necessity to control, control the environment, the information. As a result they tend to keep lots of things hidden and share information as they please, just because it allows them to keep the anxiety under control. In relationships, as they feel extremely deeply and are naturally anxious, they can also display controlling behaviours at times, but it's important to note that the necessity for control is displayed in someone that didn't cross the 8th House door yet.



What is this door I'm talking about? The 8th House represents symbolical death, and I like to picture it as someone who walks towards a door that represents losing, abandoning, giving up on a part of their life or of themselves - the death. This is extremely scary for all of us, and when you're about to lose something or someone, the first reaction is to hold on to the door and refuse to pass it, hold on as tight as possible in order to "stay alive". This is a 8th House process, and when the person is "pre-door" they control their environment, their people, themselves in order to "not die".

Someone who mastered the 8th House transformation understands that, after the door, there is nothing scary, only light and higher joy. The 8th House is about reaping the benefits after giving up, after "losing" something, it's the rewards for surrendering.

As a result, someone with Venus in the 8th House can display two types of energy: Control or surrender; and often both at the same time as it's not a quiet road.

The 8th House is also associated with taxes, inheritances, other people’s money, and the partner’s money. Why the partner's money? Because the 8th House is about shared life, committed partnerships, and therefore when Venus is in the 8th House you can have shared money, shared assets. Overall you can grow financially by being in a partnership, whether it's because your partner is wealthy, or because being together helped you in some way to become wealthy (shared investments, shared loans, family business, increased funds)


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